Fun Facts From Zach's Almanac: When life begins..."Turn on and tune in"...Cheney...Condoms...and a head case.

A judge's ruling today in Mesa, Arizona may have answered for all of us the burning question of when life actually begins for the average Homo Sapien.
It appears that pregnancy doesn't qualify or meet the requirements for people wishing to use the "sane lanes" or carpool lanes, which are set up around many large cities to relieve and eliminate rush hour congestion.
This should go a long way towards clearing up the lingering doubts and philosophical conundrum many of us encounter in debate, friendly or otherwise about a woman's right to choice and the whole Roe Vs Wade imbroglio that creeps in and monopolizes the American political focus every election cycle and has done so for the last few decades.
I wonder how long it will take before this little gem becomes part of a Supreme Court argument?

Albert Hoffman, the Swiss chemist who discovered the mind-altering drug LSD and was its first human guinea pig celebrated his 100th birthday today… in good health. Gee, I bet if he knew he was gonna live this long, he'd have taken better care of himself!
And to all of my baby boomer peers who turned on in the past and then turned parents, politicians, alarmists and amateur behavioral engineers instead of making this a bold new world …I told you it wouldn't kill ya, if you weren't stupid about it, baby!
We could all be hangin' out under "tangerine trees and marmalade skies" by now if you guys had just held to your ideals instead of buying the hype from and selling out to the pharmaceutical complex.
Not to worry though, babies…we're all old enough now to cop the likes of Prozac, Valium, Ambien, and a slew of other mind altering concoctions quite legally just by asking our dealer, er,…Doctor.
The problem these days is…recreational drugs ain't really recreational anymore when you need them to cope in a world that has had you trussed up and stressed out for decades. And to think our elders lived in a time when all it took to hang in there was a couple of stupid martinis!
Yeah. We've certainly come miles, haven't we??

No word today on Cheney.
Yesterday he spent over 4 hours in hospital for being short of breath, then it was right back to work.
Some kinda stamina.
But when you consider that the guy once held the reigns of power over the behemoth known as Haliburton, how tough can a day at the White House be for the guy?
All he really has to do is tell the President what to do regarding policy and what to say in his speeches in response to the public outcries.

In Bogota, Columbia a city councilman there wants to require everyone in town 14 years or older to carry a condom to prevent pregnancy and disease.
Hate to tell ya, Javier, but just carrying 'em ain't gonna cut it!
Several Roman Catholic priests are angered by the effort. And when you consider what unrestrained reproduction has done for the collection plate and following in the last 2000 years or so, who can blame them for not wanting to thin out the herd!
To publicize and educate people about the effort, there have been parades through the center of town, with (get this!) groups of people dressed in sperm costumes!
Talk about terrorism, wait till this catches on and little Bobby gets wind of it next Halloween!
But then again, I think most gay parades have already been there, so there's probably nothing to really worry about…except perhaps if someone shows up at your office that way to deliver a singing telegram.
That'll keep 'em talking at the water cooler past break I bet!

And (mercifully) finally, an 11-year-old survived having his head run over by a pick up truck in Indiana and aside from a slight head ache for the last two days, he seems fine and good to go. Grandpa thought he had run over a piece of wood before it was realized that it was little Cameron's noodle. Good heads up, Gramps! Wait'll next time Lassie tells me you've fallen in the well!
His mother said the accident showed the dangers of letting children ride on tailgates. She said it was a "miracle" that Cameron had not been injured worse. "Maybe he has an exceptionally hard head," the mother said.
Look. I've been an 11-year-old and I've raised 11-year-olds. It's no miracle. At that age, I can confirm that the head is a relatively empty container waiting for something like intelligence to fill the void!