Fun Facts From Zach's Almanac: "Fughedaboudit!"...Paint up - Fix up...much ado about nothing

Joey "The Clown" Lombardo was arrested in Chicago today for his involvement in several "hits" over the years. Specifically mentioned was the murder of Tony "The Ant" Spilotro, for which Frank "the German" Schweihs was also implicated.
Federal agents grabbed Joey the Clown (a spry and dangerous 76 year old threat to society, fer sure!!) after they caught him meeting with someone they had under surveillance, the Chicago Sun-Times reported Friday night on its Web site, citing FBI officials.
Fuhgeddaboudit!
What language are we talkin' on dis planet here? Do all adults have club names like the crew from Spanky and Our Gang, or what? And why have I been missing out on it?

Yours truly just concluded 3 weekends of painting around the house. You know. Painting is when you go out and collect all your materials at the store for the project then after a day or so of sanding, washing and patching and sanding and washing in artificial lighting till dawn, you decide to open the can of paint but realize you don't have a screw driver so you go down to the basement to get one…but all you can find is a Phillips so you go out to the garage to get a slot type but can't find one of those. So maybe you'll get lucky if you take an hour or so to clean up your tools from projects past. When you get back upstairs you get the can open and begin to pour it into the pan but when you upright the can, you overcompensate and it goes out the back and all over the can, so you reach for the paint brush to catch it from the side of the can before it can drip all over the floor,… but then (and only then) you become aware that you didn't bring a brush up yet so you have to set the dripping can on the floor anyway while you go downstairs to get a brush. You take the loss. When you come back up you see the mess on the floor and reach for a wet rag…which you didn't prepare for because, really! What the hell, how hard can pouring a little paint into a pan be? A monkey could do it! Right? So you go back to the basement and grab a bucket but you can't find a rag so you look for an old Tee shirt in your bureau upstairs in the bedroom, but you've got it trashed as usual and you can't find old from new. So ok, maybe it's time to spend 30 or 45 minutes sorting out your underwear. Finally with a rag in tow that you needed a hack saw to rip into strips...(had to find the hacksaw in the garage!) and a bucket of water you proceded to the room you're painting (to use a term lightly) and you notice the foot prints leading to and from the room you were in, so now it's a matter of cleaning the spots from the rug and on the floor on your way to wiping down the sides of the can that you spilled from. The problem is, your sneekers should have been the 1st thing you cleaned up and because you didn't, the floor looks like an Authur Miller, step by step dance instruction for the Wat-u-see before the light comes on for ya and you take them off and throw them out the back door! Another damned hour shot to hell!
This finished you encroach upon the pan with the paint in it and you foresee wonderful and colorful things for the room you wanted to paint. So you begin by cutting the edges until you realize that you have to dismantle half of the appliances, electrical outlets, switches and plumbing in the room you want to work in. And for that you need the %@#@ Phillips screwdriver, but you can't remember where you put it now that you've cleaned up your tools in the garage in order to find the slot type screw driver because the last time you saw it was 3 hours ago!!! (Gr-r-r-r)
This horror story plays out in multiple chapters named after the different things you might need to finish the project,...like the roller, the masking tape, another cup of coffee, tunes, answering the phone, checking your email, writing a blog, earning a masters degree...for what seems to be an infinity of its own. Add a few repairs to the ceiling and floor and it compounds the mental torture exponentially!
Then eventually you get the damned paint on the walls and everything back in place while rendering a perfectly good shirt, jeans and sneekers totally useless for public use…and once it drys, you find out you need yet a second coat and a gazillion touch ups!
If any of this scenario sounds familiar to you, then you've certainly done your share of painting and you have my sincere sympathies.

"Bradjolina" are/is preggers and they arrived in Haiti…You know, Jennifer was never told about it and boy, is she ever…Oh, big hairy deal already!!! Enough!