Yet another (Un)dead-beat politician!
On Friday, January 13, 2006, once pro wrestler Jonathan Sharkey (AKA The Impaler ) officially launched his bid to enter Minnesota's gubernatorial race under the banner of the "Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party." He described himself as a "sanguinary vampire"... replete with the practice of biting people and drinking their blood. Also publicly disclosed and proudly, was his penchant for Satan worship. But claimed it to be more along the lines of "compassionate Satanism". His campaign pledges included the public impalement of terrorists, rapists, drug dealers, child abusers, repeat drunken drivers and anybody who preys on the elderly on the steps of the state capitol.
Sure. He's got a shot!
(In Minnesotan, that would translate to: "Ya. Sure. You betcha!")
Unfortunately for Mr. Sharkey…or would that be Count Sharkey(?)…by the time today's business was concluded he had been found to have two previously unanswered felony warrants from Indiana following him around on the campaign trail. He is currently escaping sunlight, silver bullets and sharpened wooden objects in a Princeton, MN jail cell and is awaiting extradition arrangements to be made in his behalf. Obviously, this is going to take a bite out of his bid to be Governor in Minnesota or anywhere else for that matter (sorry, couldn't resist. The devil made me do it!)…and just when there was finally a candidate for the people who showed such promise and possibility! But not to fret…he has already registered as a 2008 presidential candidate with the Federal Election Commission!
Watch out Hillary!
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